Drama may work well in the Sunday comics (“%@#!!”), but overstatement makes real-life decision-makers cringe. So says Gary Kinder, who advises lawyers to dispel with fiery phrasing in written arguments if they want to win a judge’s favor.
Kinder’s advice applies to a broader audience too—the account rep seeking a buyer’s favor, the fundraiser asking a donor for dollars, the college student making a case before a dean . . . and you, the next time you craft an appeal to someone whose decision impacts your future.
Before launching your message, be sure to review it for any overstated passion that may undermine your purpose.
- General vs. specific – Trade broad generalizations about your capabilities (“world-class,” “premier,” “unrivaled”) with descriptions backed by facts. (“We currently provide services to over 20 Fortune 500 companies.”)
- Exaggerated vs. realistic – Readers pause and question overused claims like, “I gave the project 110% of my effort.” Vivid images of what really happened say more: “I accompanied the sales rep on six face-to-face customer calls.”
- Impressive vs. meaningful – Replace numbers meant to impress (“We improve the lives of thousands of users each year.”) with verifiable numbers that matter to your reader. (“Last year we served 52 small businesses like yours in the Metro East area.”) Use 100% only when you can verify 100%.
- “Fuzzy” vs. concrete – Consider this loosey-goosey accounting: “Each year, we provide scholarships to countless students.” You can be sure that folks in the financial aid office count the students who receive scholarships. Use words like “innumerable,” “immeasurable,” and “incalculable” only if they truly apply.
- Impossible vs. reasonable – Inflated claims like “all,” “always,” “completely,” “never,” and “only” back you into a corner with no way out. Opt for alternatives that don’t undermine your credibility: “many,” “often,” “typically,” “frequently,” “rarely.”
Phrases that frequently roll past our ears in conversation don’t stand up to the scrutiny of readers who pause, go back and reread. By removing the “%@#!!” from our messages, we ensure the scrutiny works in our favor.
View Kinder’s full article here: Your Honor, You Are Stupid, You Suck, and Please Decide for Me.
Morris Sampler 